9 signs of prolonged trauma you neglected, which you can heal out of…
“Traumatized people chronically feel unsafe inside their bodies: the past is alive in the form of gnawing interior discomfort…” -Bessel A. van der Kolk
As convenient as it seems to hide it, it is a sign that the trauma is still alive within you, harming you and leading you many moments in your day through the same agony you experienced 10 or 20 years ago.
Photo retrieved from www.pikist.com
You may hide that as much as it pleases you, but some things are more apparent than that, as a manifestation of the hidden treasure… more apparent to yourself, than and before anybody else.
Can you identify any of these within you or someone close to you? Let me know in the comments below…
Manifestation of Trauma:
- Lowered Self-Esteem: You believe you are inferior, in comparison, or undeserving, as a person. You might experience a continuous struggle between wanting to do things or achieving your goals, and your belief of being incapable, in some mysterious way, to achieve the same. These and such undiscovered beliefs, by themselves, are the chains in your feet.
- Impact on Intelligence and Creativity: Being a survivor of violence or abuse, and a carrier of trauma, you may experience frequent activation of amygdala… finding yourself reactively choosing between fight, flight or freeze responses frequently. As frequent as it is, there is a possibility that you might be –
a) in the presence of a real threat, but reacting to a degree higher than how one would’ve in the absence of the trauma.
b) in the absence of a real threat, however you still percieve it as threatening, and
c) in challenging situations, feeling uncapacitated to handle it.
The activation of amygdala suppresses a person’s cognitive activity, thus limiting the application of existing intellect and creativity in demanding situations.
3. Physical or Medical Condition: The frequent activation of the 3F (Fight- Flight- Freeze) response system has an impact on the body too, giving rise to physical pain such as headache,, heaviness in neck, shoulders and spine, pain in legs for a beginning, extending further to chronic conditions such as High or Low blood pressure levels, heart problems (cardiovascular diseases), arthritis, asthma, chronic pain, diabetes and gastrointestinal diseases. [Link: ncbi…./ pmc3288257]
4. Changes in bodily response patterns and resulting physiological changes: As a survivor, one may also experience changes in their sleep patterns, in the form of increased/ decreased hours of sleep, restlessness during sleep hours and tiredness during the wakeful hours. They may also experience changes in eating patterns and wight gain/ weight loss.
5. Easy Victims of Manipulation: Carrying trauma within yourself makes you more prone into believing what you are made to believe to avoid discomfort and a fear of presumed conflict. As much as the violator knows through his intelligence, he would then preferably feed you with beliefs detrimental to your growth and independence, while portraying himself as concerned for your well-being and safety. This is a trap by the violator to keep his victim within reach for further violence. However, a low self esteem and lack of self awareness in victim nurtures this manipulation, harming the victim even further.
An individual with low self esteem may even seek or invite individuals seeking control over their lives, or manipulate people into doing the same to fit into their beliefs and behavioural pattern. It may not be necessarily pleasant to have that control on their lives too. It can be filled with surprises.
6. Self Sabotage: In an attempt of seeking revenge, proving the other person wrong or defeating the other person, one tends to sabotage one’s own life. It somehow seems to be the easiest way because one’s own life is the easiest to control. One might indulge into risk- taking, defiant or rebellious conduct. As much as it appears to serve you, it perpetuates violence within you, affects your self- awareness and self esteem and your capacity to respond to life. This dysfunctional thought pattern and invited manipulation holds more power over you than anything else. You may or may not realize how this perpetuates violence within you even beyond the violator’s deeds.
Both, being a victim to manipulation and self sabotage, functioning together puts you into a vicious cycle of underperformance (or lack of responsiveness in life) and low self esteem, rendering you (the victim of violence- the carrier of trauma) disabled and dependent in life.
7. Isolation: Alongwith lowered self- esteem, victims being subjected to manipulation start losing trust, turning fearful, helpless and insecure. This gives the abuser power over them through manipulation by developing the victim’s perceived dependency on them.
The abuser may manipulate the victim into reinforcing their insecurities about themselves and the world. As a result, the victim loses her chance to seek help from external resources and spends an isolated life trapped in dysfunctional beliefs and lifestyle, than actually seek help from where it is available to lead a healthy safe life.
8. Substance Abuse: Victims of violence have high chances of abusing substances such as Marijuana (3.4 times more) cocaine (6.4 times) and prescription drugs (5.3 times more) in case of victims of sexual abuse (as mentioned in an article mentioned by rehabspot.com on domestic violence:/treatment/co-occurring- disorder/domestic-violence/)
As difficult as it seems to live in an abusive environment, substance abuse, homelessness and poverty seem to be more in case of victims of abuse, that add up to their problems.
9. Lack of Trust and Commitment: The victim starts to lose trust on oneself, as a result unable to develop connections and relations with people and seeking help and support that could be available. As difficult as it becomes for them to set themselves free and lead a safe and healthy life, the lack of trust, the feelings of insecurity and lack of control over external situations, renders the victims unable to develop strong and stable relationships in life. This also affects their commitment in professional spaces rendering them financially weak or with an unstable source of income. This adds to their difficulties and dependency on the place of abuse.
Let us know which of the above- mentioned issues you can relate to. Are there any other ways you see trauma manifesting within yourself or others? You can share with us.
How to deal with it- How to heal out of the Trauma:
What if I told you that despite any number of issues, they can be sorted and resolved by one important step:
Taking Agency- Building self trust by taking control of one’s own well- being
One needs to embark on the journey by trusting nobody more than oneself- to protect and raise oneself to a Life Above Violence. Working on this alone will build self- esteem, which will only then work for you reviving your old potential, mellow out the pain, begin a journey of a healthy abled life in which your dependency on the unhealthy support would decline and healthy self support would increase.
“How do you do that…?” is a question that usually follows…
Well! Let me complete the quote I initially started with…
Traumatized people chronically feel unsafe inside their bodies: The past is alive in the form of gnawing interior discomfort. Their bodies are constantly bombarded by visceral warning signs, and, in an attempt to control these processes, they often become expert at ignoring their gut feelings and in numbing awareness of what is played out inside. They learn to hide from their selves.” -Bessel A. van der Kolk
Our behavioural patterns are our habits. We have learned or acquired them, but they have stuck with us despite awareness of their utility or futility. However, once we decide to get out of a situation, help emerges. Once we show the readiness to give up the patterns that don’t serve, life changes. Once we decide that we deserve the life that is beautiful, life starts to blossom.
Violence and Abuse can be difficult to escape. Moreover, escaping them physically may not necessarily end the mental and emotional trauma. Are you or any of your loved one going through trauma? No one has to do it all alone. Contact us to seek professional help. Contact Information in the Bio.
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